Ramblings of a Rambler..

You.

Had I known then on my induction day that I would have fallen in love with the guy sat beside in only just a few short months I would laugh. How completely ridiculous. Well I was wrong.
I remember ever moment of that day. The 9am start. The surprisingly warm British weather. What we both wore, just like it was yesterday. I would have been lying if I said I didn’t check him out when I first noticed him. There he was dressed smart, black trousers, plain white shirt. Dark hair gelled up, just under average height. Attractive. Out of my league.
He sat to my left, didn’t speak much but was kind enough to pass me paper and pens when I needed them. I remember him laughing at the jokes the HR manager was telling and I would smile at his funny little laugh. He was cute but I defiantly knew I wouldn’t get him.
The induction passed and I saw him at work, he would make conversation with me, whenever we were down the same aisle; he made me feel comfortable, at ease, like I had known him longer than just a few weeks. He had the ability to make me come out of my shell and have me giggling at 5am, a ability I was thankful he had. Not only was he attractive and with those deep brown eyes that had me captivated, he was kind, gentle, genuine. I was smitten already. I woke up early for work, eager to earn and converse with this brown-eyed beauty. I would do just that, I would hang back in the aisle if I could hear him approaching just so I could speak to him, only a few words I needed to leave me smiling for the rest of my day. To get my heart beating that tiny bit faster; my to make my stomach flutter the moment I see him; to feel like there wasn’t a care in the world whenever I would see him smile.
I remember all the pointless conversations we had, some didn’t last long but I can still remember them. I told him about this guy that was working there who was trying to get me into bed and we had a laugh about it, made a few jokes continued with our jobs. I remember how he asked how I got home and always offered me lifts but I would kindly say no, we both lived in different directions I felt bad him driving me home. One morning my Dad was meeting me after work, and I was sat outside the store waiting for him when the brown-eyes beaut joined me, lighting up a cigarette. Once again he offered me a lift home but told me I was waiting for my dad. He sat and spoke with me talking about driving, his age -24 a six year age difference which wasn’t at all noticeable as he looked and acted like a teenager- and other chatter. He had finished his fag but hadn’t left and he continued speaking to me until my dad arrived which was about ten minutes later. We then said goodbye and went separate ways leaving me once again with a smile and a thought that there can be genuine people out there.
We would chat at work and even swapped facebook profiles but when he asked me about my plans one day on chilled I thought he was making polite conversation.
‘Are you doing much on the weekend?’ He asked, I looked up at him trying to hold back a smile and somehow answer without stuttering like I always fear of doing.
‘Well it’s my friends nineteenth so I may be going out to town for like my first ever time but I don’t know’
‘Oh. You’ve not been out to town yet. Woah. I’m in town on Saturday so if you’re in town you should let me know and ill come and buy you a drink!’
‘Aha. Well I’m not completely sure if I’m going or not that’s the thing. I most likely won’t be’
‘Oh well if you don’t think you’ll be going to town, if you wanted to we would do something on the Saturday if you were up for it?’ I looked straight at him, my insides whirling around, my heart beating so fast. Was he asking me on a date? Does he like me?
I nodded. ‘Yeah, I’d be up for that up!’ I smiled, well more like, grinned like the Cheshire Cat. I was ecstatic, giddy, on the verge of hyperventilating. I couldn’t remember much else of that apart from giving him my number and going home with a permanent grin on my face. But I was happy, he wanted to spend time with me; he wanted to know me out of work; maybe he was even intrigued by me; or even maybe felt the same way I had felt!
I, at last, felt happy, felt wanted, loved and treated by the man who I met on my induction day. The same man who wasn’t supposed to be on that induction day!
Miracles do happen, and I’m a firm believer of things happening for a reason, there was a reason why I got that job and didn’t return back to college. There was a reason why he missed his first induction and had to join my one. There was a reason why I suffered what seemed to be heartbreak and sadness in 2011 because when I met him I became happy, the happiest I’ve been in the past year, people noticed that. They had noticed the smile on my face was genuine that there wasn’t a sad look hiding behind my eyes because the moment I seemed to meet him they faded away. He has taught me how love again and what it feels like to be truly happy, to wake up in the morning and smile. To wake up in the arms of the man you honestly want to spend the rest of your life with, the man you want to marry, have children and grow old with.

He taught me love and the love I’ve got for him will never cease. He has my heart, body and soul and there’s not much else that I can give to him, but I promise that I will give him my every fibre, my every molecule, my every being; for he is my everything.
I thank you for everything, you mean so much to me and I never wish for this to end. I will never stop loving you and you will always be my world.
I love you, always.
❤

Call me a bitter cunt, but it pleases me to see you suffer after what you put me through!

Well this is awkward. :/

I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. To be your wife, your lover your best friend, the mother of your children.